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Watching them do it online, as Labor did it to the nation

The Punch - September 3, 2010 - 6:55am

Let’s face it: What Paul McLeay’s done isn’t the worst thing in the world. It isn’t even the worst thing in the NSW Government.

The now former minister was summarily shafted—an activity with which he is apparently familiar—by Premier Kristina Keneally after being busted looking at porn and gambling on his parliamentary computer.

There is no question that his behaviour was stratospherically stupid, but again, these days that is more a pre-requisite for getting into Cabinet than being booted out of it.

Five ingredients of a good advice column

The Punch - September 3, 2010 - 6:40am

Question: A young Man being an apprentice, and having served about half his time, hath a very fair opportunity to marry much to his advantage; would you advise such an one to take opportunity by the Fore top, or to let her go and say he cannot marry because he is an Apprentice? Gentlemen, Pray favour me with a speedy Answer.

Answer: Fair and Gently, Lad; marriage is no foot ball play . . . few men till some years above twenty know either how to govern themselves, choose a wife, or set a true value upon Money. Not one marriage in five hundred, made before twenty five, or thereabouts, proves happy ….

It’s been four centuries since this question and answer appeared in the 1695 edition of The Athenian Mercury, the first newspaper to publish an advice column in the English language. 

And while it’s unclear whether we should be comforted or troubled by the fact this advice still translates, it’s amazing to think that thanks to the eternal human experience, columns like this one continue to thrive today. But what makes a good one?

Ambassador for the Australian mentality

The Punch - September 3, 2010 - 6:30am

During the recent election campaign, any significant attention to our place in the world and foreign policy was lost amongst the cacophony of discussion of the environment, climate change, the economy, broadband internet and Speedos.

With the exception of the boat people drama, both major parties seemed strangely silent on the topic of Australia’s interaction with the outside world. ‘Moving Australia Forward’ probably didn’t extend to dumping the entire country somewhere in the North Atlantic, but that’s about as much attention as it got.

Abbott’s Fatal Austin Powers Moment: One Billion Dollars

The Punch - September 2, 2010 - 6:47pm

Update 9:15PM: Appearing on Sky News this evening the crucial three independents Bob Katter, Rob Oakeshott and Tony Windsor say they still have not made up their minds over which party to support.  It continues.

Tasmanian independent Andrew Wilkie’s decision to side with Julia Gillard’s Labor Government is not surprising.

The intelligence officer turned Iraq war whistler blower was basically labelled a clear and present danger to national security by the Howard Government, formally had a fling with The Greens and now holds what is usually a safe Labor seat – hardly paints the picture of someone who would hand Government to the Coalition. Like the laughable attempt by Bob Brown to tell us the day after the election the Greens could side with any party, Wilkie’s decision ended what was a series of false flirtations with Tony Abbott.

But by revealing that Tony Abbott, like Dr Evil making an ambit claim, was willing to write a $1 billion cheque for Royal Hobart Hospital, Wilkie could have done more damage to Abbott than anything Treasury can come up with.

Enough with all the meat eating all ready

The Punch - September 2, 2010 - 6:55am

People are discovering that food costs are soaring, electricity and government charges including water charges are on the increase and many families are needing to find savings in the family budget.

If recent reports by the United Nations are any indication then the savings can come from this unexpected phenomenon.

The worlwide non-profit initiative to promote Meatless Mondays and Fishless Fridays is encouraging the voluntary rationing of certain foods. This is not new as rationing was common practice during both World Wars. 

Introducing Labor’s new faction – the Greens

The Punch - September 3, 2010 - 6:50am

The Greens are now officially the far-left faction of the Australian Labor Party.  They have been signed, sealed and delivered by a Prime Minister desperate to cling to power and their own party leader who is clearly desperate to be part of the “big game” he has always decried.

Those people who voted Green because they would “stand up to” the major parties must be bewildered and disappointed by the indecent haste with which they have got into bed with the Labor Party.

The Greens can no longer claim to be an “alternative” to the major parties, because they are now a formalised wing of Labor.  Rather than being a third political force, they’re just Labor’s appendage.

How to be a good parent at 100 miles an hour

The Punch - September 3, 2010 - 6:35am

I was deep in conversation recently with a very successful retiree about his experiences as a father. The banter was light until it was time to part ways at which point he grabbed my arm and hastened me to listen carefully.

“Be sure that you love your children equally!” he said with an unsettling eeriness in his voice not unlike a line spoken in a disaster movie moments before all hell breaks lose.

“I have two sons”, he continued, “One of them has always been motivated, successful and talented and has never relied on my wealth to survive, while the other has always been lazy, unsuccessful and forever in trouble. Instead of rewarding my successful son for all that he’s achieved, I’ve spent my life chasing after the other son, bailing him out time and time again. I hardly know my boys now. The son that I’ve always protected only talks to me when he needs something and because throughout his life he’s needed so much attention, I never had time to get to know my other boy. I’ve been left virtually with nothing!”

Punch on: Open thread 03/09/2010

The Punch - September 3, 2010 - 6:00am

Hooray for Friday at The Punch

Got a gripe from the week that was? What’s on your mind? Share it here.

The national policy agenda which nobody voted for

The Punch - September 2, 2010 - 7:00am

Well silly old me. There I was thinking the 2010 federal election was about economic management, border protection, broadband and leadership.

Turns out it was about light rail for north Hobart, the reintroduction of tariffs for the banana industry, an hourly limit on poker machine betting, new rules governing the length of answers during Question Time and the urgent introduction of an emissions trading scheme.

For all the talk about who has the biggest mandate, a separate and more compelling point should be made about the emergence of a raft of left-field side issues as bargaining chips in the battle to form government. And that is – none of these independents has any mandate at all to use them as conditions for supporting the major party.

We need to get over our poll addiction

The Punch - September 2, 2010 - 6:50am

Australia really needs to do something about its addiction to opinion polls.

The week following the election, just like the weeks that led up to it, was dominated by polls.

First came the local ones in the rural Independents’ electorates, which some interpreted as a new set of riding instructions to Messrs Katter, Windsor and Oakeshott.