Not my mum, theNoo's mum.

TheNoo has small airways on account of being small - so when chest infections happen they're worse. That's what we thought was the case ... but his breathing got laboured so into casualty we went. He had lots of ventolin, was there overnight, then for another night getting tests to see how his O2 levels were travelling. It was a fucked time to be honest and highlights included him yakking on the floor, me holding him down as he screamed blue murder to cram a mask over his face, and me being abused by some fuckwit behind me when I was doing the speed limit added to which was their dangerously swerving out from behind me to turn off ... which caused me to lose my shit and chase them honking my horn like a fucking madman as the red mist descended over me*.

Anyway, theWife stayed by his side all night with no sleep and through the next day as well. The first sleep she got was in the fold out chair next to his bed. Read more »

We're big on liquid soap in this house. It's more hygienic. Solid bars have issues man, though I admit I still use one in the shower and new soap bar day is a happy day in this household because you're less likely to lose a grip on it like you would a sliver in your soaped up southern groin forest.

Anyway, the other day I used the sink liquid soap to write 'I (heart) U' on the vanity mirror. You can't see it when the mirror is dry, but when it fogs with shower steam, there it is.

When theWife saw it, she added a '2' to the end.

Aw... pity she had to tell me 'cos I didn't notice.

Area man romance fail.

Jimoein, the transplanted Irish comedian in Australia, once had a bit about going bald. He said, 'have you noticed when you start balding, people come up to you and say 'you're going bald' - like you hadn't noticed. Then you think ... two can play at this game ... and you cut your hair short.'

My grandfather, mother's side, was a short fat tummied man who was bald at 27. Guess whose genes I got ... including the one for acute recurring abdominal pain?

Out of my brothers, I am about nearly a foot shorter. In family photos I am a dip. I once got hand-me-ups.

So in addition to weight, gut pain, and height - I also suffer baldness. In 97 I had an arse-long pony-tail. Then the spot started. Now, 13 years on, there is a small segment of frontal thinning hair, but the small bald spot did a Germany V Poland and gave me effectively a reverse mohawk. Read more »